The days could hardly pass by without a thought of the other; fingers lingering and lips a hair's width apart. Chances were taken from a different point of view — leaving whatever they had and running off into the future. Times of disappointment were over, what with verbal promises and unspoken honors.
"Stay," he'd whisper across the room.
"I should, shouldn't I?" was his usual reply.
"Yes," Tao would utter breathlessly as Kris slides back into bed, pinning him down once again and peppering kisses down his neck. "Yesyesyes."
Either way, he finds himself at the lowest end of his life when the exhilarating feel of the soft touches end — knowing that things wouldn't last, and Kris would be going back home by eight. He doesn't care, though. Things were different from how they started; Tao no longer taking in customers other than Kris. No one is to be blamed if that stupid boy back at Gangnam isn't able to give Kris the thing he wanted. Who's Tao to reject money?
"What do you do late at night, when I'm not around?" he mumbles into Tao's ear, chuckling when the latter tenses up and nails dig deeper into his back.
"Do you touch yourself while thinking of me?" Kris licks the outline of his jaw, moving down to suck on a patch of skin.
"Or do you disobey me and spread your legs for another man?"
Tao lets his fingers press harder onto the older man's back, nails breaking into the skin and drawing blood. He doesn't hear a thing when Kris guides his hips up — when Kris is balls deep into Tao and fucking him to Monday. He bites down on his lip as the cold silver on Kris's finger bites into his flesh, seemingly reminding Tao that he was taken and no, it's wrong of them to be doing this.
As unethical Tao's little job goes, he doesn't accept requests for seconds. It's usually a fuck-and-go thing. But Kris... He's just so charismatic.
"Don't think of anyone else other than me." Kris would always say before he left.
It's part of his job, Tao thinks as he mutters almost inaudibly, 'I don't'. It's an 'almost' as he chokes out a sob, watching the retreating figure of a man who was as warm as a blizzard storm.
At the end of every day, Kris drives back home to find Chanyeol watching the television, dinner already prepared and the table set. He walks in and avoids any contact with the other till he has taken a shower — any evidence of the evening being washed away. He brushes his teeth twice, making sure that he doesn't smell of the perfume Tao sprays on. Kris steps out and kisses Chanyeol on the lips while he warms up the food. He doesn't feel an ounce guilty as he whispers 'I love you' to the other — the very same way he does with Tao. He lets Chanyeol nuzzle into the crook of his neck, like how Tao does when he's spent.
There are rules to this game, and Tao knows it. He cherishes the little time Kris spends with him; he jumps into the strong arms of Kris the moment he steps in, and they wouldn't be apart till it's time for the latter to go home. The game of hide-and-chase started the minute they'd met — eyes locked and refused to be torn apart while they dilated in lust.
"Don't tell anyone the way I hold your hand." Kris mumbles.
"I won't tell anyone the things you say at night." Tao darts out his tongue to lick his lips, biting down on Kris's lower lip at the same time.
"Don't let another man touch you the way I do." he fingers the hem of the younger boy's tee, twirling and tugging.
"I won't let them know how you prove your love to me." Tao throws his head back, letting Kris claim his spot like he always does.
Sometimes Tao finds himself dwelling in the lugubrious part of his heart. Maybe, things were just never meant to be. He stares at his hands, bare in comparison to the ring Kris had on his finger. He tries telling himself that emotions weren't a necessity when Kris was sheltering him, and the future could wait. No matter, he eventually realizes the predicament he is in.
Kris wasn't going to wake up one day and notice that he was irrevocably in love with Tao. No. That was never happening. He couldn't deny the fact that he'd often dream of such a thing, but he knew that someday, somehow, Kris was for sure going to tell him that whatever they shared was over. Tao feared for such a situation, and to be honest, he didn't even know what he was going to do.
"This is so fucked up," Tao finds himself sobbing while throwing weak punches at the other, pushing every advance away, "why won't you leave me alone?" he chokes at the end.
Kris only shuts his eyes tight, holding back his words while Tao cries his heart out.
"You already have someone back at home, stop fooling around with a prostitute!" Tao emphasizes on the last word.
"Oh come on! You said you didn't mind!"
"I wouldn't have if you didn't make me believe that what we shared might've been real!" Tao yells, throwing a harsh slap at Kris right before storming out of the apartment.
The world slows down as he leaves — the footsteps surrounding him was moving at a much slower pace, every murmur around was seemingly about him. It doesn't come off as much of a surprise when he checks back into the brothel, the scent of the very same cheap perfume drifting in the air. Luhan walks into his room, gently patting his back and lending a shoulder to cry on.
"It's okay," he whispers, "those men don't understand — " Luhan wasn't allowed to finish his sentence as a client walks in, throwing him out by the arm.
"I've been waiting for you, for a long, long, time."
Tao doesn't bother to play hard to catch as he immediately drops onto his knees and gives the client the best suck of his life. He doesn't fake a cry when he gets thrown to the corner of the room before getting dragged back and fucked dry without a condom. But he does start trembling before breaking into tears when Kris practically kicks the door open.
He doesn't hear anything other than the sound of breaking of bones as Kris punches his client, continuously driving his head against the wall. Tao rushes up to pull the agitated man off the unconscious client, slapping him once again. "Are you trying to ruin my life?" he shouts.
Staring right into Kris's glassy and bloodshot eyes, he whimpers when the man walks over to the pile of clothes and throws it at him. "I've bought you over, you've got no right to deny me." Kris says harshly.
Tao doesn't need to ask the owner of the brothel if it was true — because it was. If it weren’t so, the security would've marched in and thrown Kris out already. "Now hurry the fuck up!"
He's quiet on the drive back, eyes looking out at the lines separating the lanes of the road; each seemed to hypnotize him into feeling a little more censurable. He should've known what he was getting himself in on the day he met Kris. It just wasn't... Answerable.
He gets flung into the bathtub as Kris climbs in, ripping his clothes apart. The latter doesn't even notice his phone vibrating on the counter while he grabs onto the showerhead, turning on the water, and pushes two of his fingers into Tao. "Did it feel good when he put his dirty dick up in you?" Kris scissored the other, spreading the tight muscles apart, "I bet you moaned like the fucking slut you are, begging for more."
"Shut up, you fucking whore, shut up!" Kris pulled his fingers out, pushing Tao out of the tub and onto the bathroom floor.
"You like cock so much? I'll give it to you, bitch." there was no hesitation as Kris unbuckles his belt and pushes down both his pants and boxers, grabbing onto his penis and shoving it into Tao's mouth.
"Suck it right!" he ordered when Tao choked, both hands grabbing onto the side of his face and started fucking his mouth.
Tao's lips were painfully stretched around Kris's cock, tongue rubbing around the rubbery skin of his penis and gagging whenever the latter pushed too far in. It was the roughest Kris had ever been with him, and the way that he spoke hurt him so fucking much it was as though a dagger had been thrown right into his heart.
He struggles, hands reaching out to push Kris away. Tao wants to tell him that it hurts so much. It hurts that he's not the same man Tao knew. Kris doesn't finish till a minute later, pulling out and exploding all over Tao's face, letting his cum leak back into his hair. He watches the way Tao falls onto the floor, tears streaming down his eyes and if wasn't for the soft weeping the other was letting out, Kris would've thought he was dead.
"I—" Kris started.
"N- Tao, I—"
"Get out!" Tao pushes Kris's leg, before covering his eyes with his arm.
Kris falls onto his knees, pulling Tao up and into his embrace. He holds him tight, despite the tough struggle Tao was putting up. "Listen to me!"
"Why would you do this? Why?" he bawls into Kris's chest, his clothes soaked with Tao's tears and his own cum.
"I'm so sorry," Kris whispers, "Please just— please listen to me."
"I hate you!" Tao pulls away, only to get carried back into the bathtub by Kris.
Kris doesn't waste a second as he immediately turns the shower on, throwing off his clothes and corners Tao so he wouldn't run once again. "Please," he leans his forehead against the other, "Just listen to me."
"I know that it's difficult, but I need you so much. I don't love you, Tao. I don't. But I can't stand it when you let another man touch you. I hate seeing you sell yourself out, doing things you don't want to. I keep telling myself that I don't love you, but I don't know what I'm feeling. I can't leave Chanyeol, because I don't love you. I hate it because Chanyeol is waiting for me at home but I can't go because you make me so confused.
"I know for sure that there's a nice dinner back at home, but I can't go back because if I don't love you, I'm starting to do so." Kris's lips hovers against Tao's, both of them gazing into each other's eyes.
It was a chain reaction when Kris leans in, pushing his lips on Tao's, hard, when the other starts to react. Their tongues were sliding against each other, Tao sucking onto Kris's tongue as their hands start roaming around bare skin. Tao gives up trying when Kris reaches up to tweak his nipples, making the both of them slide down the marbled wall, cold water still raining down on them.
There are always times when Tao doesn't care that Kris is taken — that the ring on his ring finger was a form of literal possession. That Kris's partner was probably still at home, waiting for him to be back. He doesn't care that he'd always be second to Chanyeol; that the latter was Kris's priority.
Because he knows that Kris would always be there to catch him if he falls.
This is it.